Wednesday, 20 January 2016

From Script to Screen: OGR


1 comment:

  1. 21/01/2016

    Hi Danni,

    In all honesty, I think this is a classic 'suitcase' response to the three components - in so much they're all inside the story okay, but they remain separate and not legitimately related. The museum setting is largely irrelevant (your assassins could be enacting their rivalry in any environment) and the just happening on the superglue in their satchels is weak - why would they have it with them in the first place?

    I don't think you're *using* your setting - i.e. not deriving your story from it, and I also think, in terms of the term assassin, you might be thinking too conventionally. As I look at your three components, I'm reminded of this problem faced by museums:

    http://southeastmuseums.org/conservation-advice-museum-pests#.VqDtNHj8-xI
    http://www.museumsassociation.org/museum-practice/museum-pests
    http://museumpests.net/identification/identification-pest-fact-sheets/

    If you were the owner/curator of a museum, filled with rare wooden exhibits, you might consider a woodworm to be a 'silent assassin' - i.e. creeping about the place and killing off prize exhibits. I can imagine how a character vs character story might ensue (Elmer Fudd vs Bugs Bunny-style) wherein a museum curator is driven increasingly frantic by a woodworm who is munching through all his best items. I can also imagine then why superglue would be a more logical inclusion, because it suggests repairs and making good, something which the curator might be expected to concerned with. Take a look at these animations for further inspiration:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J49kdqrvSfk
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj6-LG5VpGk
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7aKgR7hcpE
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1LV6Fsd2HM

    My broad point is a story that actually derives from the environment in the way suggested above just means that you're creating a story that isn't generic; right now you've got a story about two people (who you say are assassins, but their actions don't show that) who are after something important (which happens to be in a museum, for reasons you don't explain) and there's some business involving some superglue (which just happens to appear just when your character requires it, even though there's no logic as to why your character would have access to any at the point). Can you see what I mean? Your current story is generic, because it doesn't need the three components you picked at all...

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